Suggested Reading & Listening

Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life, Revised Edition

by Abigail Trafford

Thoroughly revised and updated for a new generation, this book is the essential guide for men and women to help them weather the turmoil of divorce and build rich, rewarding lives. There is nothing easy about the breakup of a marriage. Some of the challenges include coping with loss and failure to dealing with the uncertainty of the future. In this intelligent and insightful book, Abigail Trafford charts this emotional journey, identifying the common phases in the evolution from marriage to separation to divorce and eventually to a new life.

Purchase A Copy

For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered 

by E. Mavis Hetherington, Ph.D. and John Kelly

Mavis Hetherington, "without doubt the world's preeminent researcher on the family processes that surround divorce,...has distilled the wisdom growing out of her many studies of the short-term and long-term impact of divorce on family members" (Eleanor Maccoby, Stanford University). Offering "a welcome corrective to misleading and simplistic accounts," Hetherington "not only provides scientifically sound and wonderfully sensible guidance but dispels the myth that divorce is always negative" (Ross D. Parke, University of California, Riverside).

Purchase A Copy

The Truth About Children and Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive

by Robert E. Emery, Ph.D.

Nationally recognized expert Robert Emery, Ph.D., applies his twenty-five years of experience as a researcher, therapist, and mediator to offer parents a new road map to divorce. Dr. Emery shows how our powerful emotions and the way we handle them shape how we divorce—and whether our children suffer or thrive in the long run. His message is hopeful, yet realistic—divorce is invariably painful, but parents can help promote their children’s resilience.

Purchase A Copy

Two Homes, One Childhood: A Parenting Plan to Last a Lifetime

by Robert E. Emery, Ph.D.

A researcher, therapist, and mediator, Robert Emery, Ph.D., details a new approach to sharing custody with children in two homes. Huge numbers of children are affected by separation, divorce, cohabitation breakups, and childbearing outside of marriage. These children have two homes. But their parents have only one chance to protect their childhood. Building on his 2004 book The Truth About Children and Divorce and a strong evidence base, including his own research, Emery explains that a parenting plan that lasts a lifetime is one that grows and changes along with children's - and families' - developing needs.

Purchase A Copy

The Good Divorce

by Constance Ahrons, Ph.D.

Based on two decades of groundbreaking research, The Good Divorce presents the surprising finding that in more than fifty percent of divorces couples end their marriages, yet preserve their families. Dr. Ahrons shows couples how they can move beyond the confusing, even terrifying early stages of breakup and learn to deal with the transition from a nuclear to a "binuclear" family--one that spans two households and continues to meet the needs of children.

Purchase A Copy

We're Still Family: What Grown Children Have to Say About Their Parent's Divorce

by Constance Ahrons, Ph.D.

What is the real legacy of divorce? To answer this question, Constance Ahrons, Ph.D., interviewed one hundred and seventy-three grown children whose divorcing parents she had interviewed twenty years earlier for her landmark study, the basis of which was the highly acclaimed book The Good Divorce. What she has learned is both heartening and significant.

Challenging the stereotype that children of divorce are emotionally troubled, drug-abusing, academically challenged, and otherwise failing, Dr. Ahrons reveals that most children can and do adapt and that many even thrive in the face of family change. Although divorce is never easy for any family, she shows that it does not have to destroy children's lives or lead to a family breakdown. With the insight of these grown children and the advice of this gifted family therapist, divorcing parents will find helpful road maps identifying both the benefits and the harms to which postdivorce children are exposed and, ultimately, what they can do to maintain family bonds.

Purchase A Copy

Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After

by Katherine Woodward Thomas

We enter our romantic relationships with great love, hope, and excitement--we've found the 'one', so we plan and forge our futures together.  But sometimes, for many different reasons, relationships come undone; they don't work out. Commonly, we view this as a personal failure, rather than an opportunity. And instead of honoring what we once meant to each other, we hoard bitterness and anger, stewing in shame and resentment.  Sometimes even lashing out in destructive and hurtful ways, despite the fact that we’re good people at heart. That's natural: we're almost biologically primed to respond this way. Yet there is another path to the end of a relationship--one filled with mutual respect, kindness, and deep caring.  Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of Calling in "The One" and creator of the groundbreaking method, Conscious Uncoupling, provides the valuable skills and tools for you to travel this challenging terrain with five thoughtful and thought-provoking steps.

Purchase A Copy

Divorce: Taking the High Road: Simple Strategies for Creating a Healthy Divorce

by Peggotty Cooper

If you are thinking about divorce, or in the middle of a contentious divorce, this book is for you. If you want to avoid the emotional and financial uphill battle often experienced by a traditional litigated divorce, then this book is for you. If you desire to put the needs and emotional well-being of your children front and center in your divorce, then this book is a must-read.

Purchase A Copy

Grieving the Loss of a Love: How to Embrace Grief to Find True Hope and Healing After a Divorce, Breakup or Death

by Eleora Han, Ph.D.

For those who have experienced the loss of a love, this thoughtful book offers courage and comfort. Some of us face the death of a loved one while others face the end of a relationship or a painful divorce, but everyone who finds themselves in the midst of loss—whether willingly or forced by circumstances—grieves and could use solace, wisdom, and connection.

Purchase A Copy

Mom’s House Dad’s House (A Complete Guide for Parents Who Are Separated Divorced or Living Apart)

by Isolina Ricci, Ph.D.

Isolina Ricci’s book may not have started the concept of joint custody and shared parenting, but it put it on the map. This is a classic, and it’s still valid today.

Purchase A Copy

How to Avoid the Divorce from Hell* and Dance Together at Your Daughter’s Wedding

by M. Sue Talia

Most people start their divorce with the hope that it will be amicable, or at least not a war zone. Many of them are then presented with an unexpected circumstance and find themselves in the middle of Armageddon with no idea how they got there. This book is designed to raise the red flags to alert them when they may be heading down a path inconsistent with their goal of divorcing with dignity, and to provide them with the tools they need to stay in control of the process and keep on track.

Purchase A Copy

What Every Woman Should Know About Divorce and Custody (Rev): Judges, Lawyers, and Therapists Share Winning Strategies on How to Keep the Kids, the Cash, and Your Sanity

by Gayle Rosenwald Smith, J.D., and Sally Abrahms

Women are still discovering—the hard way—just how difficult and unpredictable child custody cases can be. The first and most comprehensive book of its kind, this is a complete insider’s guide filled with crucial advice from judges, lawyers, therapists, and mothers who have experienced this challenging legal process. It is designed for women at every stage of divorce and covers a wide range of legal strategies as well as financial and psychological issues. This updated edition describes how to use technology advantageously and pitfalls to avoid, as well as changes in interstate custody laws and essential topics such as:

• Choosing a lawyer
• What to expect before and in court
• Blended families
• Domestic violence risk factors for women
• What makes a custody agreement good or bad
• Dealing with your emotions
• Parental kidnapping cases
• An appendix of recommended reading

Purchase A Copy

Divorce for Dummies

by John Ventura & Mary Reed

Since Divorce For Dummies, 2^nd Edition, published in 2005, there have been considerable changes in collaborative divorces, common-law marriages, same-sex marriages, visitation, and even custody laws (from children to pets). Divorce For Dummies, 3^rd Edition includes 25 percent new, revised, and refreshed material covering all of the above.

Purchase A Copy

Divorce & Money: How to Make the Best Financial Decisions During Divorce (Divorce and Money)

by Violet Woodhouse

Major financial decisions are often overwhelming, but they can feel downright impossible when you’re in the midst of a divorce. Turn to Divorce & Money, the acclaimed guide that translates complex financial concepts into plain language. Learn to divide assets during your divorce, and avoid making financial mistakes that could affect you for the rest of your life.

• Create a cash flow statement using your income and expenses.
• Learn how to uncover your spouse’s financial information.
• Determine the value of real estate, retirement accounts, and other assets.
• Decide whether to keep or sell the house.
• Understand how child support and alimony are calculated.
• Divide your property and debts fairly.
• Negotiate a comprehensive settlement.
• Achieve financial stability after divorce.
• Learn when and how to talk to a professional (attorney, tax adviser, or appraiser).

The 12^th edition is updated with the latest tax figures and information about retirement benefits.

Purchase A Copy

Divorce: The Best Resources To Help You Survive (2nd Edition) (Lifecycles Series)

by Rich Wemhoff, Ph.D.

This essential resource identifies and reviews the best resources to help adults cope with the challenge of divorce.  Divorce: The Best Resources To Help You Survive, developed in partnership with Rich Wemhoff, Ph.D. (Editor), provides a pathway for consumers interested in self-help resources.

Purchase A Copy

Your Pocket Divorce Guide

by Linda C. Senn

Your Pocket Divorce Guide provides practical information on preparing for separation and finding an attorney and a divorce mediator. Additionally, it includes explanations about maintenance, child support, and starting a new life as a single. An especially valuable chapter explains the legal process of divorce in straightforward English. Author Linda C. Senn has also included a full, somewhat simplified Glossary of Legal Terminology often used in divorce. Therapists, attorneys, and divorce mediators around the country recommend this book to their clients. And the super stressed reader will appreciate the concise presentation which packs all of that into 106 pages!

New! This 2^nd edition includes a new appendix: “The Forgotten Ones: Your Adult Children and Your Divorce.” Traditionally, society has assumed that those offspring already have “their own lives” and won’t be strongly affected by their parents’ split. Nothing could be further from the truth! This powerful new appendix helps both the parents and the formerly “forgotten ones” navigate that bumpy path with honesty, wisdom, and love.

Purchase A Copy

101 Ways To Be a Long-Distance Super Dad or Mom, Too!

By George Newman

101 Ways To Be A Long–Distance SUPER DAD or MOM, Too! offers helpful, practical tips for parents who live or work in one place, and whose children live in another. While divorce can geographically separate a mom or dad from a child, so can military service or a job requiring travel. This book can help parents remain an important part of their children’s lives. Now in its 14^th printing, this book is a must-read for parents who want to keep in close contact with their children but find it difficult to overcome the barriers posed by distance. Award-winning journalist George Newman draws on his experience as a divorced father, sharing valuable tips for enriching the parent-child relationship, even during physical separation.

Purchase A Copy